This is what happens when you don't load them in the oven correctly, a maneuver that requires, you know, a normal amount of hand-eye coordination. But as anyone who has been near me and a full glass of wine can attest, I am a giant spaz, and so all my baguettes have been looking like this lately.

I have anxiety dreams about these goddamned baguettes: the chef counting to ten dramatically as she steams the oven, then yelling GO! as we all slide them onto the deck together, with only one chance to get them in there without their stupid doughy bodies squooshing up on you. And then everyone laughs and points at your misshapen baguettes, and calls you names, and you look down and realize you've forgotten to wear pants.

Anyway. EFFING BAGUETTES, MAN.