so-named because this was the aftermath:



i take great pride in that.

other suggested names if you make it yourself: Chocolate-Euphoria Cake; Way Better Than Sex Cake; PMS Rampage Cake.

i made two layers, stacked them together with a thin layer of cherry preserves in-between (though ganache would be just as delicious), and covered the whole thing with a bittersweet chocolate glaze. sadly, the cakes sank quite a bit in the middle while baking, which i'm told can be due to about eight hundred different small things that might have gone wrong before it went in the oven, or even just the oven itself not being the right temperature. fortunately, it still looked (and tasted) delicious, though a bit lopsided:

here's the recipe. it's adapted from one of my favorite cake recipes ever, and features whole wheat pastry flour. i used regular sugar for the final product, but had success with an agave syrup substitution too. it'll be a slightly different consistency (denser, and a little moister), but i actually didn't reduce the other liquids at all and it still turned out ok. just reduce the amount of syrup a bit as it's sweeter than sugar.

chocolate-cherry destruction cake

(makes two layers)

cakes:
4 oz unsweetened chocolate (I used Ghirardelli, but if you really wanted to make it special you could go with something nicer)
2.5 cups sifted organic whole wheat pastry flour
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup butter, softened at room temperature
2.5 cups sugar (or about 1 1/3 cups agave syrup)
4 eggs
3 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream
1 1b. sweet cherries, pitted (reserve a few for garnish)
cherry preserves

chocolate glaze:

12 ounces bittersweet (not unsweetened) chocolate chips
3/4 cup unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1 tablespoon agave syrup (you could also use 1.5 tablespoons of corn syrup or honey)

bake it:

Preheat the oven to 375. Grease and flour two 9” cake pans.
Sift the flour, baking soda, and salt together and set aside.
Melt the chocolate and then allow it to cool slightly. Be careful to not allow it to harden.
Beat the butter and sugar for two minutes. Add the eggs and beat for an additional two minutes. Beat in the vanilla and cooled chocolate.
Gradually stir in the sifted flour mixture in approximate thirds, alternating with the sour cream.
Fold in the pitted cherries, and pour the batter into the pans.
Bake for 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

assemble it:

make the glaze: stir chocolate, butter, and syrup over low heat until smooth. cool glaze until lukewarm but still pourable.
cover the bottom cake layer with a thin layer of cherry preserves.
stack cakes and pour the glaze on top, in the middle. spread out over top and sides.
refrigerate until glaze is set a bit, then add the remaining cherries and whatever other decorations you have. i added some chocolate shavings as well.
put the whole thing back in the fridge to finish setting, then take it out about an hour before it's to be served.